We often see people posting questions online, trying to figure out someone’s personality type: “help me ‘type’ my boss/parent/fiancé/friend,” so is it possible to tell?
It is to some extent but it’s in the subtle things. We can’t make any assumptions based on things like their job, the way they dress, or their hobbies. We’ve heard it said about business leaders that: “they’re great with the team so they must be an extravert,” not understanding that it’s something that takes such effort and energy for someone who is actually very introverted. Also, people excel at different aspects and draw different things from the same activities. For example, take a team sport like soccer, an ENTP might enjoy the competitiveness and the chance to shine, an ISTJ might enjoy the discipline of the training and execution of the tactics to win, an ESFP might love the camaraderie of the team and drama of the match. So we can’t really infer anything from someone’s love of soccer.
There is also the issue that some people have more well-developed lesser preferences and so because someone projects more comfortable in some situations, it doesn't follow that's their primary preference, so it is more complex. However, there's no doubt there are some hidden clues that are worth exploring.
So what clues can we look for to help us work out someone’s type? It helps to look through the lens of each of the dichotomies: Extravert v Introvert, Sensing v Intuitive, Thinking v Feeling, Judging v Perceiving.
This isn’t about how friendly, outgoing or social someone is, versus are they a shy bookworm. There are plenty of friendly, sociable introverts and plenty of shy, unfriendly extraverts out there! This is about where they draw their energy. Here are things to look for to help determine whether someone is extroverted or introverted:
This is how we prefer to take in information. You can often spot S v N in the language people use. Is it more concrete, tangible, specific (S) or broad-brush and impressionistic (N)?
Sensing:
Example: How was your day:
“Well, I got to the office at 8:30, which is 10 minutes later than usual, because the traffic lights at the top of the bypass weren’t working and there was a queue. Anyway.. then I had my first meeting with Steven about the new project….”
Intuitive:
Example: How was your day:
“Pretty good actually. You know that project I was talking to you about? The one where we’re working with that new tech company? Well, we made some really good progress on that today!”
This is how we make our decisions. Thinking types focus on the logic of the decision, drawing on evidence and facts, while Feeling types will focus the impact on people, factoring in their values and people’s feelings.
Thinking types:
Example: I am so sorry, my car has broken down and I am not going to make it into work today:
“I am sorry to hear that. Have you phoned the breakdown assistance company? What did they say? Will you be able to get it fixed by tomorrow? If not I can ask Geoff to pick you up.”
Feeling types:
Example: I am so sorry, my car has broken down and I am not going to make it into work today:
“Oh no! Poor you! Are you ok? What a rubbish start to the day! What happened? Are you alright? Please don’t worry, we can look after things here.”
This is how someone likes to operate. In very short-hand terms, are they a planner or do they like to keep their options open?
Judging types:
Example: What shall we do this weekend?
“Well, I need mow the grass and go shopping on Saturday morning. And then I am meeting Jane for a coffee. I saw this new restaurant has opened and I thought you and I could go there for dinner? Let me show you their website.”
Perceiving types:
Example: What shall we do this weekend?
“Let’s just see how we feel, shall we?”
It’s worth remembering that we each have all 8 elements to our personality, and we use them at different times, some are just more natural than others. We’ve found that with people you are closer to, you may see more dimensions to them than might generally be the case, so it can be harder to assess their preferences. What are they generally like? What is their ‘go to’ approach?
To find out for sure, you can create a free team map. Discover your and their personality types and compare your profiles to really understand the dynamics at play.